I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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