Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
