Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
