every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
