accomplished twins. life is a go
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
