): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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