I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
