remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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