i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Do vagina's smell?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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