Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
