i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
