I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
