Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
