I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Never underestimate the power of titties
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