I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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