Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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