i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
