god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
