you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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