Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
