this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Come share oat with me in your robe
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
