You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
