Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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