He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
