You really coming over, don't trick.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
