As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
