The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
