Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
