Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Gay?
German.
Pity.
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