I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
