Got a toothbrush?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
