i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
