Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
