we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
