So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i think i just lost a toe
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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