Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
