I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
