He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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