And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
