It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
