Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize