bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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