So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
