You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
