walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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