Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize