Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
