I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
