heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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