My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
