I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
