her vagine was all disorganized.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize