his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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