Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
