i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
