You can't motorboat a personality
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
