I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
