He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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