I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
