We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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