Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
