You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
