And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
