I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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