I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
