brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Let's get the cat blown out
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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