Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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