i think i have two assholes
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
